Mmmmmm tea ball sucking
Tag: don’t ask don’t tell
Useless tools come in all sizes
In its day, the sextant was very useful. Nowadays GPS owns the navigational realm. We do respect the preservation of history, but a full blown how-to is a tad over the top.
Cute, tasty but we’re just not feeling the snap crackle and pop here Wikipedia.
Just think, we could’ve snuck Kanye in last night and saved poor Stevie Nicks from that brutal duet.
Jersey shore meets youth in revolt
Watching this transformation, to include an officially approved Jersey Shore moniker was somewheres just shy of revolting but Snookie, the little trooper, kept us hanging in there waiting for her sucker punch; I mean close up. Michael Cera’s gift of sharp wit and voluminous locks just makes the bronzer so much more effective in the final product. The hot tub scene makes it all worth it minus the blow dryer that is.
This guy can drink, work a room and go hot tubbin better than most caucasoids I’ve seen. Well played young sir and great work on your latest film.
Mama said we always share
Setting: Shane comes back to the barracks from a long patrol in Northern Iraq. He’d sure like to be in the strip club back home drinking a cold one but Islam doesn’t approve of either. He’s dog tired and 3 days behind in showers. He enters his room to find his burly and somewhat metro-sexual roomate Todd in his bed with his secret stash of playboys strewn all over the bed.
In a twinge of misplaced excitement, Shane jumps in bed next to Todd.
Todd: “Eww stop touching me that way Shawn”
Shane: “Then why are you on my bed with those saucy rags?”
Todd: “You’re right. I should just get in my own bed.”
Shane: “Don’t go huggy bear. I need some comfy snugs while checking out Miss December”
Todd: “Stawp you tease.”
Shane: “You no me so well, now get out beotch and leave the rags.”
Todd: “You cheap hussy!”
Shane: “That’s right, cheap with a side of slutty relish. And leave my
lotion alone already! I didn’t get but two squirts of my peaches & cream last time hog.”
(Based on a true story. The names and locations have been edited to protect our brave soldiers, sailors & airmen in need of some porn.)